Finale: Chapter XI

Wow, I can't believe this is going to be my last post for class.  School is ending for this semester and so is our time together. Bitter sweet isn't it?

Managing Interpersonal Conflicts

Chapter 11

 

For my last blog we are going to talk about different conflict styles. I really enjoyed reading out this topic and also applied it to my everyday life, I'll be sure to explain how later. So what are conflict styles? Well, we all have different ways of handling difficult situations in our lives, the way we handle it is the definition of conflict style. There are five styles in total. They are competing, collaborating, avoiding, accommodating, and compromising. Competing is where you would fight for your own way, accommodating is the opposite. My life example for competing is fighting for the last slice of pizza because I didn’t get enough. Accommodating would be to let the other person take the slice when they wanted it. When we accommodate others, we are allowing things to go their way instead of our way. Avoiding is basically ignoring and/or staying away from the conflict. My personal experience with avoiding is a recent where two of my close friends had a falling out with each other. For weeks now, I have been avoiding each of them, afraid of the unknown since I’m now the middle man.

Compromising is more of a negative term, because to compromise is to not get the full satisfaction out of the situation only partial. Its opposite would be collaborating. Instead of only a partial satisfaction, the conflict can be resolved where everyone gets everything they want. A compromise in my life would be where my brother wanted to get his a certain smoothie and I wanted my own, but due to lack of money we had to share something completely different from what we truly wanted. As for collaboration, my partner prefers to stay up late while I go to sleep earlier. In the end, we both agreed that I would sleep in the room while he stayed in the living room till he was ready for bed. We both got what we truly wanted in the end, a win-win situation.

 

 

Wow this is it, the end. I have enjoyed the time on here and I hope you have too. In the end though, we will never know if I'll post again, but if that day comes it will be great!

Thanks for being awesome! Bye - Veronica



Looking Out, Looking In: Chapters IX & X

Hey! So many posts so little time… Let’s get to chapters 9 and 10!

 

Intimacy and Distance In Relational Communication

Chapter 9

 

What is self disclosure and what alternatives do I have? This is the question I asked when I read chapter 9. This is the answers I came up with. Self disclosure in short words, is telling someone how you truly feel about them or a situation. Of course we all don't just blurt out everything that comes to our mind. We have different alternatives to project our message which includes silence, lying equivocating, and hints. Silence is keeping your thoughts and feelings to yourself. As the say silence is golden. Lying is to gain an unfair advantage or save face, but everyone has their own personal reason for choosing this alternative. Equivocating is a form of giving two meanings. Example is calling something different, when you could mean that you don't like it or its something creative you've never seen before. Hints are more direct at the topic, but still subtle. These are different ways we communicate with others.

 



Improving Communication Climates

Chapter 10

 

Chapter 10 explains the emotional tone of a relationship is called communication climate. This is how some relationships could be easy going while others can be down right horrible. It is depicted on how the climate is when people would be together. Example best friends versus archenemies, the climate with best friends would be described as warm and inviting, while the archenemies would be cold and distant. What determines these types of tones are messages that are valued and negative. Formally called confirming and disconfirming communication respectively. An example of valued can be simply, I love your company, compared to negative you presence is wanted. Our climates vary with different people in different situations, that is what chapter 10 branches off of.

 

Well thats it for today, hope you'll had a interesting election day! Till next time!

Bonus Blog!! (BB)

Hey! Today’s post is mainly about forgiveness. Questions will be answering is what is forgiveness, what is difficult to forgive and what things are easier to forgive.

First ill like to start out with a quote that my teacher gave me that I really liked!

Life becomes easier when we learn to accept an apology we never got. – Robert Brault, Laws of Modern Man

So what is forgiveness to me? Well from the top of my head, I really had to do some soul searching for this answer. I believe forgiveness is when you have reached a certain point when someone has done you wrong and you have a sense of peace. Through my own experiences, I tend not to forgive people until I feel a sense of peace with that person. It’s more like an “I guess we are ok now” feeling.

What is difficult to forgive? There are certain situations where it’s hard for me to forgive. God has forgiven me for everything I have done, but when it comes time for me to do that I can’t help but say “I’m sorry but I’m not God.” The big thing in my mind that I find hard to forgive is when someone breaks my trust. Trust is a big issue for me. So if you don’t have my trust then we have a problem.

What offenses do you find easier to forgive? The small things of course like those everyday mistakes we don’t mean to do to one another. A bigger thing I find easy to forgive is when something is done wrong to me by a person, but soon after without me having to say anything and they know that they did wrong. They at that point already are trying to make their amends. A perfect example for me was when I had an old classmate of an steal something that belonged to me. By mistake they lost it, after seeing how losing something that was dear to me, they quickly confessed and offered to replaced it. Situations like that make forgiveness a whole lot easier.

Well that’s it for today, wishing you all a great Friday tomorrow, Night!  

Looking Out, Looking In: Chapters VII & VIII

Hello! Thanks for visiting my page once again.

This week's post is based on chapters 7 and 8 of the book titled Looking Out, Looking In.

I'm ready when you are!

 

 

Listening: More Than Meets The Ear

Chapter 7

 

Some people know that there is a difference between hearing and listening. If you didn't know I'll to happy to explain. Hearing is defined as "the process in which sound waves strike the eardrum and cause vibrations that are transmitted to the brain." So pretty much hearing is your body's way of letting you hear the sound itself. Listening is based on us giving that sound a meaning. So, why are these two terms different and so important? Well, we can't refuse to hear something unless you put in earplugs, but even then you may hear a muffled sound. Listening on the other hand is a whole different concept because we can choose what we listen too. Examples are that someone could be talking and you could be listening with a greatest attention span in the world or you could be daydreaming and nodding to the person talking because you have other things going on. Chapter 7 is overall about the bad habits and improvements that can be made to help improve listening skills. Yes, it is possible to be a better listener!

 

Communication And Relational Dynamics:

Chapter 8

 

We communicated to maintain our relationships, if we didn't there wouldn't be a relationship to start with. There are many ways to why we form relationships, I'll be giving a brief explanation on each. There are eight main reasons to why we do.

Appearance - based on how looks can attract us to a person

Similarity - how interests keep people close

Complemartity - the saying that "opposites attract"; completing each other

Reciprocal attraction - when we have a sense someone likes us, we also would like them

Competence - Liking others who are especially good at something

Example: My own partner is very artistic, but i can see that he has visible flaws, and hoping is artistic qualities rub off on me

Disclosure - Being close to someone based on how you told them information that is a secret and trusting them to keep it that way

Proximity - people who are around us tend to spend more time with us

Rewards - being able to gain something out of the relationship

Chapter 8 fully explains that communication is the way we keep our relationships and also shows ways we can maintain them.

 

Well, that's it for chapter 7 and 8, I hope you learned much from this blog so far!

Till next time!

Looking Out, Looking In: Chapters V & VI

Hello!! This weeks is about chapters 5 & 6. Same book as before Looking Out, Looking In.

So lets get right into it shall we?

Language: Barrier And Bridge

Chapter 5

This chapter is based on language and language is futher explained as symbolic. When the word symbloic was used they were referring certain words meaning different things to various people.
Words can be both understanding and misunderstanding, to help understand this process three rules are explained.
The Semantic rule is how we assign meanings to words such as book being something that your read, while paper is something to write on. Syntactic Rule is how we say our sentences to get a thought out, or how we grammactically speak.
Lastly the pragmatic rule is based on us understanding the meaning of a word or words in someone elses point of view.

Nonverbal Communication: Messages Beyond Words

Chapter 6

In chapter six, there are seven types of nonverbal communication. Some of the types were things I was not aware of, while others are obvious. Body movement, voice, touch, and appearance are things that I know regulary present to others.

Physcial space, physical evironment, and time were new concepts to me. The physical space shows based on the physcial distance that you're willing to put between yourself and another person can show how you feel about that person. Physical enironment shows that based on the private space we own, like a living room, can reflect who you are as a person. Time is how we use our time with regular activites and how much of it we're willing to spend with others.



 

 

Well thats the important topics of those chapters that caught my eye!

Still next time, Bye!! - Veronica

 

 

Looking Out, Looking In: Chapters III & IV

Wow your back for more!

This week’s topics are on Chapters 3 and 4 of the book, Looking Out, Looking In.

Now to just keep my post under 300 words, let’s begin!

 

Perception:

What You See Is What You Get

Chapter 3



Example for empathy!

The chapter starts off with the perception process, but before jumping into that, what is perception? My personal definition of perception is how we understand something in our own point-of-view. The process is how we go about using our perceptions in everyday life. The process includes selection, organization, interpretation, and negotiation. Selection is what we choose to pay attention to. Organization is arranging our selections that we have into categories so we can make sense out of what we have. Interpretation shows how we choose to understand what is in front of us. An example of interpretation can be based on someone you don’t know smiling at you. This simple action can be taken in as a romantic action or plain friendly. Our views and or thoughts of others can cause a change in our perception; this would be the negotiation process. Based on whether a friend doesn’t like a certain person, your perception on them way be swayed. The terms empathy and sympathy are two words that caught my eye. The both seem to mean the same thing, but are completely different. Sympathy is what you view another person’s situation to be in your own point of view, while empathy is where you view it from that person’s perspective. When you sympathize, it’s the others persons feelings of happiness or pain. When you empathize you can feel that person’s happiness or pain, if only for a moment.



Emotions:

Feeling, Thinking, And Communicating

Chapter 4

In this chapter there is a section called, guidelines for expressing emotions. We all have emotions, but how we would express them may be limited. Here are some tips the book shows on how you can expand your feelings. The first was recognizing your feelings; an example is by asking yourself “how do you feel?” Others include recognizing the difference between feeling, talking, and acting, expanding your emotional vocabulary, share multiple feelings, consider when and where to express your feelings, accept responsibility for your feelings, and be mindful of the communication channel. The communication channel, which was from chapter 1, is how we are sending the message, such as through a text, email, blogging. When using these channels for example certain words mean certain things. Perfect example is when putting letters in all caps means that you are shouting. Mistakes can’t be made but once something’s out there it’s pretty difficult to take it back. Facilitative and debilitative is described as the negative feelings that we hold and how we tend to handle them. The two main differences between the two is the intensity and the duration. Facilitative is more based on feelings such as anger that is short lived, while debilitative is long-lasting negative feelings.

Well that concludes my second assignment, I hope you enjoyed reading!

See you soon!! - Veronica

Beginnings: Chapters I & II

   Welcome, you lucky viewer!

This is officially the beginning of my blog page!

Through this blog, I'm going to posting information about the book below.

Today my main focus is on chapters one and two. Lets start off with chapter 1 shall we?

 

 

A First Look At Interpersonal Communication: Chapter 1

 

This chapter mainly explains how we need communication in our lives and without it, we would have major complications. A psychologist by the name of, Abraham Maslow, explained how our needs are put into five hierarchical categories. In order to fulfill our needs, we have to take care of our fundamental needs before the others. A clearer explanation of this theory is shown above. Therefore, we must start from the bottom of the pyramid and work our way to the top, slowly achieving each need.

The next section of the book shows the two views on how we exchange messages with others around us, which are the linear and transactional view. The linear view was a simpler form showing how a message is given to the receiver from the sender. Transactional is a more updated version, showing how based on the environment is how the message can be received. The environment includes more than just what is going on around the two people, but includes where they are from, and what they believe in, because these play a part in how a person accepts a message.

It is always good to know what is and isn't communication. So what is communication? I found out the it can be intentional and unintentional. Examples of intentional are when you plan to ask something from someone. The greatest unintentional that I came across is the body language of people around me. Another facts of communication are that communication is irreversible, its unrepeatable and its that it is truly impossible not to communicate. Misconception's are what communication isn't. One is sometimes less communication is best, because when we say too much we can hinder the situation more than help it. One other is that it cannot solve all problems, meaning no matter how we plan to say it, we cannot always have it done the way we want.

Finally, interpersonal communication is defined by number of people involved which is called quantitative. A dyad, is described as when to people are talking. Complications can arise in the meaning of quantitative, because some conversations are very short, while some are impersonal that they shouldn't even count such as running into someone and quickly saying sorry, but continuing on your way. The qualitative definition is based on how we treat another person as unique, irreplaceable, interdependent, disclosing, and intrinsically rewarding. These can be rare even in our closest relationships.

The last topic I want to talk about from chapter one is communication competence. This term refers how in the things we do its a balancing act. Being great at something and terrible at another, this is applied to how we treat people. Example when someone looks out for others, but doesn't have the same aspect in caring for themselves. The problem with balancing, I found is that not every person is the same, so treating that person in the way that is best for them makes the balancing act difficult to perfect.

 

 

Communication & Identity:

Creating & Presenting the Self

Chapter 2

 

 

The topics in this that really stuck out to me include self-concept, self-esteem, the big 5, and the perceived and presenting self.

Self-concept is defined as the characteristics that we assign ourselves. These characteristics are what makes us who we are and take anything out, would cause you not to be who you really are. Self-esteem then shows what you think of the characterise that you assigned for yourself. For example, I say "I am cautious because I'm afraid." By saying this I am presenting myself to have a low self-esteem. By saying that I am cautious, because I like to be extra careful; I can say that I have a high self-esteem.

The "Big Five" Personality Traits is pretty much a system where we are put into little categories based on who we are. Some of these traits are easier to accept then compared to others. Using myself as an example once again. I discovered out that I'm an antagonistic, which is kinda hard to accept... and something I'm not proud of. Although hearing that I'm Open, pretty excited to hear about that!

Finally, our last topic is our perceived and presenting selves or how I like to call them, private and public self, respectfully. The public and private shows that while your in public you show people only one side of you, but while your in private you wouldn't show things that you regularly do. I'm not using myself as an example on this touchy subject. Another example of private is that you would find yourself to be not as smart, pretty or even your goals that can be a little fickle, because those show who you really are which can mainly be bad. Though, we do tend to show our "true" selves to our family, maybe not friends, and significant other.

 

 

So that's pretty much what I learned in Chapters 1 & 2

Till I get my next assignment, goodbye for now!